This was a very special weekend. A weekend I thought for a very long time it was never going to happen.
You see, to my knowledge most religions have a moment where they have some ceremony that re affirms their love and respect for God in front of their families, friends and their Chuch, temple or wherever they usually get together.
I remember as a girl, I was really excited for my first communion, I had special classes, learned new prayers, my mom got me a beautiful white new dress, a hair piece and a veil, I had my bible, my rosary and my candle.
I had my friends, my family and the church was full! then there was this party at my house where there was music, food and everyone was happy for me. Because I was able to do my first communion.
The moment I know I was expecting a girl, I dreamed on her using frilly dresses, cute shoes, little handbags, I remember thinking I was able to do her hair and put bows and all kinds of girly things,
Then I learned my girl had Down Syndrome.... things changed... but my dream was there, because even with Down Syndrome, Gabby was still my little girl, and for a while I was able to dress her with the pretty dresses and shoes, with the bows and the girly baby stuff....
And then... Autism arrived.... my dreams were there no more.... Gabby stopped liking those dresses and rather use a comfortable T-shirt and sweatpants, the shoes became Crocs and sneakers and the hair.... well.. I'm lucky if I can detangle it after washing it when she gets a bath.
I tried to go to church she wouldn't stay....
"... The people behaves in a rare form when in Church. They sit and stand and kneel, they answer and sing. Sometimes the songs are happy and the music is really nice that makes me want to sing, there is also echo and I love how my voice is louder and different with it... but people around me shush me... my mom keeps telling me to be quiet... but its too long, I don't get what they are saying, is not fun.. they keep standing I think we are leaving but everyone sits down again... I'm so confused..."
So I thought.... Could it be possible that my girl, the one under my believes was send to me by GOD, can be part of the Church with me? Could it be possible that she does her first communion?
and I asked... some people said yes sure why not, then others would say nah why bother with something else in her life, and then some others said... ask a priest they'll know better... and I did....
I asked a couple of priest in the US, and one that I thought because he was an acquaintance from back home and said NO... because how can my kid would be able to understand the meaning of the Holy Communion Vs. a piece of bread. and does she understand what a SIN is? does she understand GOD, and evil and all those things that in a religion represent the good the bad..... Can she learn the prayers, Can she sit still during Mass?
I google for other posts and websites about special needs and the church and I couldn't find anything positive. There are plenty of sites that have religion ideas to teach kids how to understand certain parts of religion...
But again. I'm just a mom, I'm not a therapist, I'm not trained to teach a lot of things my girl requires I need help.
And there it was, after feeling really upset, and almost give up that Gabby's girl scout leader, introduced us to Father Kindon saw Gabby for who she is and not for what she has.
I met with him and with open heart and mind he gave me the one answer I needed, with one word he restored my faith, and love to the religion I knew, for the reasons I believed.
In my mind, how can a kid with special needs be in someway a sinner? how can I kid like mine is denied to be with Jesus when I see my kid as the most pure of heart?.
And thats what he said too.
Gabby did her own training to get communion, With her therapists next to her, almost every day we went to church, She met with Father K. and practice Communion, practice learning about God and Jesus and the Virgin Mary. She even lights a candle.... or 10 .... and she hugs and kisses father K after she does her routine.... and we'll see you the next day.
Some days were adorable and cute, some days were intense, some others Gabby wouldn't go inside the church, some days she cried, some days she was so happy that she even hugs any other person who happens to be there! and more than I liked.... she would run out the door without looking back ready to go home...
And I still thought she cant be ready.... the doubt I had now was because I heard No many times... but Father K was always open to talk to me and ease my fears.
and we decided to go for it.
And here was the second hardest part of this.... who do we ask to come?
I have so many people I want to see this!!! I have so many people who WANTS to see this. Who love her and knows this is a big deal!
and Husband said.... well if they know her and love her they have to understand that she doesnt do well with crowds...
But I still wanted to celebrate her.. this is a big deal!
But he was right, so In the company of her grandparents and therapists we went to church and Gabby was amazing!!!
She loved every minute of it.
I was, I AM very proud of her,
Even when she came home to hide in her room after all it was done....
Gabby may God Bless you every day, every night, every time.
May God gives me more time to love you and to help you in every step we have going forward in this crazy life.
I love you my angel.
Mom
