National Down Syndrome Month....
What can I say that it hasn't been said before?? How else can I bring awareness to this diagnosis that lives in my heart?
I guess just by sharing with you my love and experiences with my Sunshine and maybe you'll get an idea, warm your heart a little and share the love, respect, and hopefully teach your own kids to be compassionate, teach them to be inclusive, teach them to respect what they don't know, and to help kids like mine when they come across in their lives.
So here we go.
I knew that Gabby had Down Syndrome since I was pregnant. I did all the testings available. I think for us it was the best decision ever. I was able to mourn the lost of a kid who would'be "normal", and with that the dream of having a kid doing the stuff the other kids would do... all the milestones from birth and beyond, the birthday parties invitations, the sports, the dreams of a wedding, the trips.... so many things I thought back then....
I did cry.... probably for a week.... and then I put my big girl pants, and I started researching what to do.
I read may books, many articles online, and I learned about Early Intervention.
I needed to be ready, and get my confidence back, I needed to feel I was going to be able to provide my baby with anything SHE (yeah with the diagnosis the lady slipped the gender... I wanted a surprise...) was going to need and how Was I going to be able to provide it.
I was scared, I was nervous, I felt alone, I felt devastated... Did I mention how scared I was??
At one point during my pregnancy.... I went to my my backyard... and blew bubbles..... just that... silly, bubbles.....
No reason... but at that moment It clicked..... I was going to be a mom.... I was going to need help... it was ok not to know because no one comes with instructions, my mom, the angel she is, talked to me every day saying how much she loves ME, how good will it be once the baby gets here, how much my whole family was loving HER already....
the day that Gabby came to my life... OMG.... that was the day this scared girl became a fierce MOM...
The moment her hot body was put on top of my exhausted one.... I made a promise to her that I was going to have her back every single moment of her life.
I was so grateful she chosed me to be her mom.
I promised to love her forever....
we keep blowing bubbles every so often....
I still feel tired a bunch of times...
I'm still scared, but in a different way...
and I know in my heart that the tears I cried when I first got her diagnosis were necessary at that moment. I don't feel guilty for having to cry back then... because she is teaching me a new kind of love.
This love is pure, innocent, joyful, silly, crazy, unexpected, strong and more than anything unbreakable.
I'm lucky. I'm incredible lucky to have Gabby in my life.
