The irony

So as I try to post every single day in April about Autism, I had realize every year gets harder.
My goal so far has been to express what it feels to live and love someone with this DX.  Specially someone who has a dual diagnosis.

Most of my circle of moms, from either support groups, play groups or even online groups try really hard to talk about facts and make people conscious about how common is becoming to know someone in the spectrum.
More and more we see our kids getting diagnosed under this huge umbrella, and we struggle to find a key to their world NOT A CURE...
We face their world hoping to fit in and at the same time we try our hardest to help them fit in our conventional world where most likely have a hard time finding that not everyone welcomes them
We face tons of pain in silence, as we try to force a smile to the world and say "All its well" when inside we are crumbling in desperation to have our kids live a normal life and by default we get to enjoy a normal life
We try really hard to get services, therapies, medical attention and we get blocked by insurance policies that cut us down to minimal attention, we then, learn how to do it ourselves
We feel irritated and angry at the "looks' of disapproval from strangers who don't know or don't understand what we are going through, and at the same time, we are so tired that many times we are numbed to them, and we ignore their ignorance and keep going on.
We know it's is a hard long path, We didn't ask for it, we got put on it and we have to keep moving forward because backwards is NOT an option.

We learn unconditional love to our kids,
We learn that we know more than we think, and we see what others can't
We see through their eyes that love when they can't speak. We understand when they want a hug but they don't ask for it.
We understand their pain even when they don't complain about it.
We give our all for them and then more.
and we appreciate all those little huge milestones that most give for granted, and they are not lucky enough to see the amount of work it has to be done to make it that far.

I'm a mom to an amazing girl. a Girl who has autism and loves me to the moon and back because I love her to the infinite and beyond.....